Thursday, April 17, 2008

Feeling Stretchy

God uses so many different things to stretch us so that we can be bigger people. I really didn't realize how much blogging would stretch me. Although I only have a few posts up so far, I'm already starting to feel a pull on my soul. I mentioned in one of the previous posts that I find vulnerability frightening. I realized in the last few days that I'm really putting myself out there through this blog. I've put myself in the position where people know more about me than I know about them. It's not really a place I like that much. But, strangely enough, I don't feel compelled to stop blogging. Perhaps, I'm growing up a bit (*sigh*). I want the things I've learned lately to help others, and how can they help people unless I share them?

Revelation 12:10a says, "And they have overcome (conquered) him [the accuser of the brethren] by means of the blood of the Lamb and by the utterance of their testimony," I have always thought of that scripture before in outward terms: how the blood of Christ and sharing our testimonies would enable us as Christians to win corporate battles over the enemy in the world now and in the last days. But it just struck me that by sharing my testimony here, I am overcoming the enemy's influence in my own personal life. I am overcoming my own tendencies to remain withdrawn and separated from people, and I am opening up my heart to others in a way I never have before.

The other, more obvious, challenge of blogging is that I have to decide what to post (almost) every day. There are so many directions that I could take this thing. That was one reason it took me so long to start blogging (I decided to do this back in January or February). I just wasn't sure where to go. It's really challenged me to look to God for guidance in a different way than I have in the past. I want to make sure and communicate what He would have me say, not what seems good to me. One reason I decided to blog is that I realized that I can communicate my heart a lot better through the written word than when I speak. I have time when I'm writing to reread and reread until I feel that the words I've used adequately communicate what I want to say. I feel empowered when I write. In conversation I never really know what to say. I'm thankful for this forum and for the ways it is enabling me to grow in God and in myself.

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