My pathology report came back on Monday. So why has it taken me two days to blog about it? There's really not a very good reason why. I'm still not feeling 100%, but my wonderful husband has taken a couple of days off from work so I can get plenty of rest. He's been faithful to take care of all of the kids' needs so I wouldn't have to. So I've had the time to blog. It's that same old thing... if I don't get it done, or at least started, before I go downstairs in the morning, it just simply doesn't happen. I get caught up in other things and blogging goes by the wayside for the day. So...
Oh, but you probably don't really care about all that. You're probably wondering the results of the pathology report. You're also probably wondering why I'm stalling like this and wishing I would get on with it. I can totally understand that. That's probably how I'd be feeling, too, if I were in your shoes right now. What? Get on with it already? :D Sorry, I had to build up the suspense. Let me just say that we're praising God because the report was BENIGN!!!!
So what was the cause of all the trouble? I don't know. I was dozing off when the doctors office called, so I didn't have the presence of mind to ask at the time. I'll just wait to find out at my post-op appointment next week. Seeing as the report was benign, though, my suspicion is that the whole thing started with a boil that came up on my arm, just above my elbow, shortly after New Years. One of the things I read is that when lymph nodes get infected it's usually with the same bacteria that causes skin infections. The boil was very slow to heal, but it was just a boil, so I didn't think much of it. Of course, I also didn't think of mentioning the boil when I saw the first LNP about it, so it's possible that a different antibiotic would have been more effective in combating the infection. There was also another thing that seemed to complicate matters was as well. The day after my appointment with the first LNP, I was peeling an orange for the kids and something tiny and sharp lodged under the fingernail of my right hand. Yep, my infected lymph node was in my right arm. I tried to treat the wound, but it was burrowed in the fingernail bed, so I couldn't really get to it. I tried to keep it clean, but it got infected. The day before I called the doctors office after hours because my arm was so painful and swollen, my finger was throbbing. It's so strange to me that two seemingly small and unrelated incidents could come together to create such a big problem.
So, now, going forward, I'm getting my energy back. However, my arm is still pretty swollen, making it tender and hard to use. The surgeon told me that usually when they take out a large lymph node, fluid will pool in the area for several days until the body adjusts. I'm so ready for my body to adjust. I can't fully extend my arm right now, which is very annoying to say the least. But, I have realized through all this that I'm not as healthy as I had assumed. I've known for some time that I need to put more effort into being more healthy. Despite my desire to get my family eating the way God has designed us to, I still let myself eat things that I know I shouldn't. Sometimes I justify it with the “altruistic” motivation of making sure the kids get the healthiest stuff, but when it comes right down to it, that's really nothing more than an excuse.
I have taken the time to implement some healthy measures in the last couple of weeks. I've started doing “green” smoothies (though my end up looking purple because I like to add blueberries). I've also done some research, trying to determine the most cost-effective ways of obtaining certain healthy foods and supplements, as well as trying to determine which local CSA to join, and to work these things into the budget. (For those that don't know, CSA stands for Community Supported Agriculture. If you'd like to know more info about CSA's, just let me know. I'll be happy to answer any questions.) We're also planning out a garden and looking at growing our own mushrooms (no, not magic mushrooms), and maybe even raising chickens for eggs.
I think I've finally even found the motivation that I was lacking for exercise. I've known for a long time that I need to exercise. I've known that it's good for me, and that it will help me lose weight (or “waist” as Korrynn says), but exercise and me? Well, we've never been very good friends. Even when I was playing tennis in high school I hated the warm ups. I always felt like I was on the verge of passing out. God chose not to grace me with athletic talent, so exercise has always been a major struggle for me. (You're probably wondering how I managed to play tennis in high school, then. Well, it's simple. I was on the first girls tennis team my school had. The team was desperate for players.)
For some reason, though I never voiced it this way, I've always felt like poor health would never happen to me. I've known since I was a teenager that it's important to take care of my health now or I'd pay for it down the road, but I really haven't lived that way. As my pastor in Virginia Beach, Steve Kelly of Wave Church, says, I was living on "Someday Isle". I always assumed that "someday I'll" take better care of myself. Well, this incident has been the wakeup call that I needed. I don't want to miss out on any part of my kids' lives. I want to be there for them whenever they need me. I want to be a part of their lives as long as I can. I want to hold my grandkids. This little scare has shown me that tomorrow truly isn't guaranteed and I need to take control of my health for my family's sake and my sake. I'm going to be 35 this year. If I don't start now, when am I going to start? I'm not old yet, but I'm not getting any younger, either. I need to start taking better care of myself TODAY! The fact that the scale at the doctors office told me that I'm over halfway to 300 lbs adds a bit more fuel to the fire, too. I'm the heaviest I've ever been, and I don't plan on getting any heavier. So, I'm anxious for my arm to heal so I can use it. It's hard to exercise without using your right arm, and the jiggling created by aerobic movements is painful (in my ARM, people!).
So, while I hate the pain, and everything I've dealt with in the last couple of weeks, I'm also grateful for it. This whole thing is ushering me to the next level in my life so that I can be the best me that God wants me to be. Soon there will be less of me to love! :)