If any of you follow me regularly at all you've probably noticed that I don't post nearly as regularly as I used to. There are several reasons for that, some of them might even be considered good reasons. As with most people, time is a premium commodity in my life. Sometimes I simply have too much going on to take the time to lay down and write a blog post. (I say "lay down" because I'm usually laying in bed with my laptop when I blog. Heehee!) I am not someone that can crank out a post in 15-20 minutes. No, I'm a perfectionist, so it usually takes me an hour minimum because I have to reread it several times until I'm satisfied that it's right. Perhaps I should allow the ocassionul mestak so y'all can see that I really am human, and not a robot. But then it will eat at me until I fix it, so I think I'd rather not do that.
Another "reason" ("excuse" is probably a better word) is that sometimes I don't feel like going to all that trouble. I really feel that I need to take the time to organize the blog better, put ads up of companies I actually support rather than allow the random Google rabble, put up pictures, make it look better, etc. I'm not very good with delayed gratification, so it can take a monumental effort for me to do something I don't feel like doing. Yes, I know, it's stupid and undisciplined. Like I said, not everything in this list could be considered a good reason.
Probably the main reason, and really not a good one at all, is that I've given in to discouragement regarding the blog. The response has been smaller than I'd hoped, I haven't followed through with all the plans I've made through the blog, and I listened to whispers that said, "Who am I to be writing spiritual lessons?" However, after a surprise word of encouragement from my neighbor last night, I felt convicted. She told me that I have a voice, and that my blog has ministered to her on several occasions. She reminded me that even if the response is small I only need to touch one life, and I have touched hers. I was humbled, thankful, and did I mention convicted? After Todd crawled into our bed and woke me up at 5:00 this morning, I realized that I was wide awake, and that once again I would not be going back to sleep. So in trying to decide what to do with my time I thought about the blog and what my neighbor had said. God reminded me, "Despise not the day of small beginnings." I did mention before that I felt convicted, right? Well, God had laid the double whammy on me, so I decided to blog this morning, and I made another decision: I need to treat this as a job, even if it never pays. Before I sift through facebook posts or read a bunch of informational articles, as much as possible, I need to spend some time every day building up my blog, even if I don't post anything. My tendency is to think, "I'll do ______ first. It won't take me very long." (Fill in the blank with some form of procrastination, be it facebook, or email, or read a blog or an article or two, etc., etc.) Of course I end up losing track of time, and before I know it I'll have wasted an hour or more. (What was that I said about not having enough time? Oops!) So this will be an exercise in discipline. I had lost sight of the fact that it was with God's leading that I started this blog, so for me to neglect it equates to disobedience. So with prayer and humility, I will start blogging regularly again. Probably not everyday, and maybe only once a week at first, especially while we are in the middle of moving, but regularly just the same.