Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Todd was always a very easy-going, laid back baby. He was always cooperative and fairly easy to deal with. Well, when he started having a lot of tantrums, sometimes pretty long and drawn out, I felt sometimes like I was losing him. It got to the point that sometimes he would not cooperate with anything we were doing (other than eating). I know some of this was his age, but it was such a switch from the way he had been that I felt there was more to it than just age. I knew it was also related to the frustration of not being able to communicate what he wanted, but I never gave into him and tried to correct him, yet the tantrums continued.
In the midst of all this I had a very vivid dream one night in which we were at a wedding reception on a bay like Ft. Lauderdale. The room opened up onto a dock. Looking across the dock I could see Todd in dress clothes with a girl who was helping us take care of him. They were getting onto a boat. She looked away and Todd ran off in the other direction, down the dock and around a corner. Shawn and I couldn’t see him anymore. Immediately we started looking for him while someone else took care of the girls for us, but he was nowhere to be found. We were afraid he had fallen into the water. We traveled up and down the bay in a boat for hours crying, calling, and searching, but we could not find him. Exhausted we went back to the place where we were staying in tears. When we walked into the room Todd was curled up on the floor asleep, dressed in his pajamas. There was no way Todd could have gotten there on his own. And he certainly wasn’t able to change his clothes without help. When we saw him we rushed into the room. Shawn scooped him up and we gave him a big, tight hug. Todd has beautiful big blue eyes and this amazing smile that can move the world. At the very end of the dream, Shawn lifted Todd up into the air. Todd looked down at us with those eyes and that beautiful smile. I was exhilarated! That’s when I woke up. (The emotions were so tangible in the dream that I’m crying as I write this.)
After I woke up, I laid there a few seconds with that picture of Todd smiling down at us in my mind. At that moment God said to me, “That which was lost will be restored.” Immediately all the details of the dream rushed back at me, and I began crying. A couple of weeks later was Todd’s initial evaluation that I described yesterday. After the evaluation I realized that God had used the dream in part to prepare me for what I’ve been going through with Todd in the last couple of months. The dream also reminds me that God is not unaware of what Todd is facing. Todd is not really mine. He is God’s. God has given him to me for a time to care for him and bring him up. God cares for him more than I ever can, which is so hard for me to fathom. He knows what Todd is facing and will use this situation for His glory. He is giving us the grace, wisdom, and power to overcome this challenge.
The thing is, God has a remarkable plan for Todd’s life (as He does for all of us). Satan does not want Todd’s destiny to be fulfilled, so where is he going to attack Todd? He’ll try to thwart Todd at the point of his destiny – in the area where God has designed him to function. I was praying over Todd one morning in early July and God gave me this prophecy for him: “I will loosen Todd’s tongue to speak My words and deliver words of life. People will be moved for Me by the words he speaks. His love and compassion for people will enable him to prophecy without harshness. He will be known as a loyal friend and companion, and a loyal servant of God.” And to that I say, “Amen!” I’m bursting with anticipation to see how God will work out His plan in Todd’s life!